1. Hairspray
The audience is forced to watch John Travolta play a morbidly obese woman. 'Nuff said.
(No video clip for this one. You can thank me later!)
2. Braveheart
Mel Gibson did not have a good life here. Honestly, I was a little unsure as to how I would feel about this movie because of its portrayal of violence as the answer. But, after seeing what came before, I was totally behind Mel Gibson here. First, he had to see his father killed as a boy. Then, his wife was almost raped, and if that wasn't enough, she had her throat slit because she had the audacity to try to defend herself. The end is one of the most heartbreaking ends there ever was, as we're forced to watch Gibson be tortured and killed as he's screaming "Freedom!"
3. Rain Man
Dustin Hoffman is a math genius with autism who constantly annoys his brother, Tom Cruise. But, eventually Tom Cruise learns that he hasn't met his brother before this movie because Hoffman was taken away to be put in an institution after he accidentally hurt a young Cruise. Eventually, they form an important bond, Tom Cruise comes to love his older brother. Unfortunately, Dustin Hoffman is deemed unable to handle himself in the world, so he has to leave Cruise again and go back to the institution. Very sad indeed.
4. Forrest Gump
Any movie with three separate deaths makes the crying list in my book. First, we have to watch as Tom Hank's buddy, Bubba, dies in combat, and Gary Sinise loses his legs. Somewhere in the middle of the movie, Hanks' mother also dies. Finally, Hanks' true love dies in the end, too. But it's not just the deaths that make this movie sad. It's the fact that Robin Wright was abused as a child in this movie, and as a result, she keeps looking for love in all the wrong places (drugs, casual sexual relationships) as an adult, and a few times considers suicide. Tom Hanks is the only person in her life who truly loves her, but as we hear in The Perks of Being a Wallflower, "We accept the love we think we deserve." (And, no, this movie will not appear on the list.) And she doesn't, until he's her last hope.
5. Up
You don't expect this one to make you cry. After all, it's just an animated kids' movie. But, if the montage in the first 5 minutes of the movie with Carl losing a child and his wife doesn't make you sad, nothing will.
6. Gran Torino
Clint Eastwood is a baller here, but not for the reason he usually is. Like "Up," this movie plays with the idea of a grumpy man who takes a naive youth under his wing. At first, Eastwood is just a bitter, racist, and foul mouthed old man, but he slowly learns to appreciate his Asian neighbors and becomes a mentor for one of the boys. Unfortunately, there is a gang that won't stop harassing the family, and one night after they take things too far, Eastwood decides to take a stand. He goes after the gang unarmed and rebukes them for their violent ways, purposefully attracting attention from others in the neighborhood. Clint then acts like he's going to go for a gun, which prompts the gang to shoot him down. As a result, the gang is jailed on the testimony of all the witnesses who saw it happen. Suicide or self-sacrifice? I'll let you be the judge.
7. The Count of Monte Cristo.
Jim Caviezel, who looks suspiciously like Jesus, has all kinds of issues. At first, he seems to have a promising life, as he has a captain's job and a beautiful fiance. But then Guy Pearce and a bunch of other people team up to get him jailed. After receiving some mentoring in the prison from a priest, who looks suspiciously like Dumbledore, he escapes seeking only revenge. Despite repeated warnings that he's going too far, he presses on, until he learns that Henry Cavill is his son. He tries to let Guy Pearce off, but he won't have any part of that, and Caviezel is forced to kill him. After this, Caviezel learns how empty revenge is and promises to live his life for good now.
8. Lord of the Rings trilogy
So much. Sean Bean dies (go figure), Gandalf dies and comes back, Theoden misses the death of his son, Sean Bean's brother is hated by their father. And you will be saddened by the countless scenes of Frodo almost succumbing to the ring and treating his friend Sam like crap. Speaking of Sam, his speech at the end of the second movie is probably the most moving I've ever seen. And his other best scene is toward the end as Frodo is losing his inner battle and Sam tells him, "I can't carry it for you, but I can carry you!" Sam then proceeds to lift Frodo onto his shoulders and carry him to Mount Doom.
9. The Godfather
Okay, so you probably won't necessarily cry over this one, but there is still some sadness. That can't be denied. Even though he's a ruthless crime boss, Marlon Brando is a benevolent ruthless crime boss, if that's possible. So, it's hard to see him get shot early in the movie, even though he survives. He actually ends up dying, as he's just playing outside with his young grandson. It's also sad when James Caan gets murdered as he's going to avenge his sister. But, probably the most tragic one here is Al Pacino. At first, he tries to stay innocent and out the family's dirty business, and even tells the girl he loves so. But, he ends up being corrupted, surprisingly easily. ("Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak." Matthew 26:41) The consequences are dire, as he kills people and has his first wife die in retaliation for the dead men on his hands. Marlon Brando chooses Al Pacino as his successor, and Pacino fully embraces it, in sharp contrast with how he was in the beginning. In one of the most ironic scenes in cinematic history, we see his plan to eliminate the heads of the other mob families being carried out, while he's renewing his baptismal vows in church at the same time! He lies to his second wife about what he does and fully takes on the persona of a mobster.
And while we're on the subject,
10. The Godfather Part II
This is possibly the best sequel ever made, even to this day (followed by The Empire Strikes Back and The Dark Knight). It's so good, I'm willing to overlook the fact that Robert de Niro was trying to hard to sound like Marlon Brando in the first movie. I purposefully saved this movie for last because I actually did cry while watching this. A lot of bad stuff happens to Al Pacino here, and the sad thing is that he brought it on himself. Having taken the reigns of the Corleone crime family, he's learning what that can mean. He carries out shady deals and has people killed on a regular basis, and the consequences are bad for him. An attempt is made on his life, and by extension, the lives of his wife and kids. He learns that his own brother was in on this traitorous plot, and his heart is broken. Finally, his wife decides that she and the kids can't live with him anymore because of the evil he keeps committing. We learn that his wife had even gone so far as to have an abortion because she was afraid of giving birth to another son of his. (Although, I would like to give the movie credit because it correctly defines abortion as the murder of a child.) At first, it looks beautiful when Pacino reconciles with his rogue brother...until he ends up having him killed, anyway. And Robert de Niro's (playing the role of Marlon Brando as a younger man for a good portion of the film) life was no bed of roses either. When he was a kid, he saw his father, brother, and mother all killed by a mob boss in Italy. Slowly, but surely, de Niro becomes just like the man who hurt him (and de Niro does end up killing the guy).
So, there's ten more movies to make you cry. There's probably many more, and maybe I'll mention them someday. (Probably, since new topics are hard to come up with.) Anyway, hope you enjoyed this, and have a good night.
